Tuesday, January 8, 2008


Yesterday was "T"'s funeral. It was a very emotional day as I had predicted. It was so tragic. Usually they try to make funerals a "celebration of life" but this was not the case. There was no way to turn it into that. The one thing that makes me upset every single time I think about it is poor "J". That is T's bf. He could barely hold it together. They had been living together for sometime and it was kind of known that they would eventually get married. He is so devastated. It really scares me to think about that. I don't know what I would do without Mr. Bumblebee. I've dealt with death a lot in my life and I like to think of myself as a strong person. But the idea of having to bury Mr. Bumblebee gives me knots in my stomach and cringe. I don't think I could do it. We are so perfect for each other, I doubt anyone could ever fill his shoes. So if Mr. Bumblebee (God forbid) should perish, I really think I would live the rest of my life alone. I don't think I could get remarried. I watched him has he just held his head between his hands and my heart just broke for him. It was a rough day. Funerals, even though they only last a few hours, drain you. They exhaust you. We came home and ran some errands then sat on the couch all night long. Mr. Bumblebee can be a real "hard' guy sometimes, but while we were sitting on the couch, I was sort of laying on his lap, he leaned down and kissed my head long and hard. I knew that the events of the day had hit him too in some way. I'm glad he appreciates me as much as I appreciate him.

In other news, I started work. It seemed weird to me to wear business casual at a preschool but now I realise why. These preschoolers are so well behaved and take school so seriously, it really is appropriate to take it as serious as they do. These are 3/4 year old who can count to 100, spell/read a few worlds. They set up their own lunch and wash their own plates. They tie their own shoelaces, and zip their own jackets. It's really impressive since I remember being an aid in a Kindergarten class where kids couldn't remember their own address. I love this job so far. It seems like it's going to be very rewarding and it looks like I might even get my own class once I finish a few class requirements. !!! That would be so cool. I can't wait to see where this road takes me.

In puppy news...Mr. Bumblebee and I have been throwing around the idea of getting another puppy to keep Tess from being lonely while we are gone. Well, I don't think its going to happen. She is so jealous of anyone else getting attention but her, I don't want to have an aggressive situation because Tess wants all the attention. While at the dogpark, if I go to pet another dog, Tess comes flying over and pushes the other dog away. Mr. Bumblebee can't even come kiss me without Tess getting bent out of shape. So as of right now, it doesn't look like we will be getting another puppy.

1 comment:

alyssa said...

I just can't imagine! It's been a tough few weeks for me too as far as death and diagnoses go. I hope 2008 gets better!