The normality of returning to your previous life is cruel.
First there are the moment where you are swept away with the familiarity of it all. You forget for a fraction of a second that your not living this life, but a nightmare. You might even breath a little easier, but just as quickly as that moment came, it is gone. Leaving you just as broken and as weak as you knew you were. If not a little worse because you now remember how beautiful your life was prior.
If its not that torture, its the torture of watching everyone around you continue with their lives. Seemingly unaware of the tragic and earth shattering events that have taken place. You want to scream at them to see if they even realize how much dimmer the world is. And so you feel alone, in a bubble of solitude and grief. It teases you since you can watch the normality that you crave but will never obtain. You must learn to live with a new normal.
And all the time, you are wondering why you deserved to have it all taken away from you.
1 day ago